Weekly Report #1 - Beyond Art, Curiosity, and Code#
This article is a record and reflection on life during the two weeks from June 5, 2023, to June 18, 2023.
Photography#
Finally had time to watch a complete sunset, captured the moment of the subway passing through the evening glow, and felt the joy of getting the M file, almost able to restore the shock of the scene, with the original image straight out.
Photography is probably a way for me to pull my attention back to life, allowing me to immerse myself in observing the details of life, chasing a sunset, watching a complete evening glow, and remembering the time, layers, and colors of the changing clouds.
I really enjoy restoring the scenery in front of me by adjusting parameters, presenting different tones, capturing, composing, observing light and shadow, changing angles, and choosing the right moment to press the shutter.
I think this is probably the joy of creation and sharing.
Actually, the initial intention of buying a camera was to urge myself to go out more, rather than staying at home in self-isolation. At 24, I bought an A7M4 with the money I saved after working for more than a year. I didn't expect that I would like photography even more than I imagined, or rather, that I would need photography. Photography allows me to remain sensitive to the outside world in some moments, to re-evaluate the already programmed life with a fresh perspective, to rekindle some curiosity and desire for exploration, and to freeze some moments in the mundane details for nostalgia.
Beyond the daily grind, in the gaps of breathing, there are these wonderful and unforgettable moments in the camera, adding color to the dull working life.
Learning Swift#
Currently, I am mainly learning from the YouTube creator ChaoCode, whose voice and teaching rhythm I really enjoy. She explains things in detail and comprehensively, making it very suitable for beginners. I also complement this with the official Apple Swift tutorial, "The Swift Programming Language," in Chinese.
I wrote my first line of code, wrote "Hello world," learned how to greet, and I'm so happy! Also, ChatGPT is truly a great assistant for learning; when I encounter problems, I can ask it, and it answers patiently.
I accidentally discovered on ChaoCode’s personal website that she has created a wonderful collection of resources related to Swift, complete with serious recommendations. I found many super cool iOS developers among them.
Drawing#
This week I drew Mi Youren's "Xiaoxiang Wonder Map" and Yun Shouping's "Poppy." It was my first time drawing a 3-meter-long scroll.
Although I studied science in high school, learned a minor language in college, and entered the internet industry after graduation, I have never had a relationship with drawing. But I am very happy that over the years, although intermittently, I am still drawing.
After a few years, I finally picked up the brush again last summer and started copying ancient paintings with Aqi.
I made many new attempts that I previously dared not try, whether in terms of subject matter or style. I feel that my vision and perspective are constantly expanding, and I realized that I should not easily limit my abilities. Many things that I once feared or resisted, after exposure, feel incredibly wonderful. For example, the more complex Song paintings are something I would have absolutely avoided before. I used to think that my impatient character suited big expressive strokes, just a few strokes, not seeking resemblance but spirit. If I encountered something that required patience, I would just hastily blur it. Although I have tried many types of painting within my comfort zone, I now realize that I unconsciously set many constraints on myself.
Immersing myself in the moment of painting brings me a lot of excitement. I carefully experience the various traces left by the brush on paper with different shades or strengths—dry, wet, withered, solid, coarse, fine... The distracting thoughts and restlessness in my heart seem to disappear. All I need to think about is how to paint the next stroke, focusing on feeling the dryness and richness of the ink, the rhythm of the brushstrokes, and the interplay of space. Such focused and immersive moments are very precious to me.
I really need such relaxed moments, where I can empty my mind freely outside of the schedule, without a strong sense of purpose, just following curiosity to wander and pause.
Day after day, working in a fast-paced city, I sometimes feel confused and empty. But when I think about the existence of painting, which brings me so much passion, and the presence of friends like Aqi who share the same ideals, I still gather my spirits to continue earning and saving money, hoping for more choices in the future, to do what I love more freely, and to realize my small dreams.
Input#
Recording some interesting articles, blogs, books, movies, etc., that I have read recently.
Podcasts#
This week I listened to the podcast channel "Beyond Code" by Geekplux and Randy, and here are some insights I noted while listening.
Find your own keywords and learn to search#
GeekPlux read "Hackers and Painters" after graduation and thought Paul was amazing. In fact, Paul didn't initially want to be a programmer; he just wanted to create, and writing programs and articles were just means to that end. After creating, he helps those who want to create. GeekPlux also wants to be a technical person with attitude and influence, and to realize the value he wants to create through things he loves. With this prototype, he has keywords and can start searching.
Randy Lu watched "The Social Network" repeatedly, thinking it was so cool to create products that many people liked using technology. He wanted to become that kind of person, which became his lifelong goal. This movie directly led him to give up desktop software development and officially turn to web development, learning PHP during that period.
Reflecting on my growth, I have encountered a few role models or friends like Paul, whether far away or nearby. They are like points of light in the darkness, guiding me forward. They may not have provided me with substantial help, but their existence is a great encouragement, allowing me to see more possibilities and to be more certain of the kind of person I want to become. Then I search and learn, gradually getting closer to this ideal self.
Break the limitations of the environment, think about what you really want, and then go out#
As a "second-generation factory worker" in a northern state-owned enterprise, GeekPlux's parents see the factory as the biggest world, believing that the best place in the world is to enter the factory. Therefore, their input is limited to this factory. But he wonders, can the future really only be in the factory? He keeps thinking, which leads him to know what he wants, and the first step is to go out.
I can deeply relate to this. I have a very similar upbringing and understand that if I don't want to be bound by the current environment, I must constantly struggle against old thoughts and paths, fight against my old self, and seek both internally and externally. In the process of repeated negation, I persist in what I love. I also understand Randy Lu's feeling of "I have to produce results that they can see under pressure to gain their understanding." I am very familiar with this desire for self-validation.
Create, whether it's coding or writing#
Randy Lu says he likes coding not for the code itself, but because he wants to create something. Outside of computing, creating often requires certain costs, but in computing, as long as you can code, you can create almost anything at zero cost. Knowing how to code essentially means mastering or being able to create productive resources. GeekPlux enjoys coding because he loves the sense of freedom within it.
This reminds me of a passage I read recently in Fromm's "The Art of Loving": "In the process of creation, man unites himself with the world. However, this only applies to productive work, only to those tasks where I plan, create, and can see the results of my work. In the contemporary work process, as well as in the labor of workers tied to endless production lines, this kind of work that unites oneself with the external world has almost disappeared. Now workers have become appendages of machines or bureaucratic institutions."
Corporate culture is also an important part#
For example, some companies have systems designed to "manage people," while others have systems aimed at making your experience more comfortable, considering human care in various details, and providing channels for bottom-up feedback. When Randy Lu joined a company, he received training related to various implicit and explicit discrimination.
This week, I discovered that Randy Lu and GeekPlux started recording the podcast "Beyond Code" together in the latest issue of @pseudoyu's weekly report, so I listened to it. After listening, I also read through Randy Lu's blog articles and felt I gained a lot of strength from them.
I really like Pseudoyu's weekly report; I have read almost every article and feel that this is the kind of creative state I long for. He studied languages like me in undergraduate school, started a business after graduation, and then went to the University of Hong Kong to study computer science. It's quite a coincidence that I had saved two of his articles on the minority site last year, one about building a blog and the other about transitioning from humanities to coding. His blog content is quite rich, with some solid technical articles, explorations of life and work, and sharing good information, books, and films. Whether in overall structure or in the nuances, it is very logical while also feeling delicate, which is rare. It seems to achieve a relative balance between "quality" and "beauty."
As he wrote:
Besides specific knowledge and tutorials, one can also see the kind of person they aspire to become, fostering more curiosity and desire for exploration, and having more expectations for the future.
I am probably someone who can gain courage from sincere and powerful written records, which helps me understand many things. Perhaps I become more open-minded, perhaps I see the ideal future state of life and work, perhaps I find resonance in my small feelings that others have also experienced, or perhaps I see that the things I want to do and the paths I want to take are already being walked by others, and they have succeeded, thus gaining encouragement. Maybe I discover that the world is indeed vast.
I also want to record and share more!
Blogs#
This week I basically finished reading the series on dropping out and entrepreneurship by Zhan Yuhan, the founder of Heptabase, on his blog, which is very worthwhile and has given me a lot of inspiration and resonance.
I strongly agree with what he wrote in “Don’t Be a Screw, Be Yourself”:
What is important to learn, and what is not, has all been decided by the school. They package knowledge and place it on a platform called the classroom, allowing students to download the same knowledge into their brains like computers.
I have always had three reasons for learning: "I am curious," "I like it," and "I need to learn it." Curiosity and liking usually generate great efficiency, but because the school has decided everything, many university courses ultimately fall into the category of "I need to learn it."
Upon further reflection, do you really need what the university requires you to learn? Do the courses you take genuinely provide substantial help, or is it just because completing them allows you to obtain a university diploma, which is very useful?
This is where I find the university's approach to be backward. You spend a lot of time learning theories and technical details that you have no idea when you will use, yet you ask yourself too little why you need to learn these things. Over time, you forget the details, and because you never seriously considered their value and essence from the beginning, the initial learning becomes wasted.
Various types of knowledge have different weights of importance, but clearly, you do not need to fully understand them from the start; you can learn by doing and delve deeper when necessary. Besides the theoretical and technical aspects, the process of researching and solving problems is also a form of training for oneself. When you encounter an unfamiliar field today, how do you get to know it and become friends with it?
I deeply resonate with this point. University education is often rote learning, while I prefer a model where knowledge and practice complement each other, where I like to have control over my learning, and where I enjoy learning through encountering and solving problems, relishing the thrill of exploration.
His candid writing about his experience of dropping out has also given me a new perspective on my previously poor university grades. Perhaps I really am not suited for the current university education. I do not care about GPA; I just want to learn the courses I am interested in. I have an extreme aversion to easy courses, believing that if they cannot teach knowledge, they should not restrict freedom, as that is the greatest waste of time. Previously, I felt some guilt or embarrassment about these matters, thinking I was not a good student. Now I feel that perhaps the fault was never mine. Of course, I am also very grateful that I remained true to myself at that time, spending a lot of time on courses that had no help for my GPA but that I genuinely loved, even if some of those courses were not even considered electives, merely auditing.
Fortunately, some of my unique traits have not been completely worn away. In the midst of repeated self-doubt, I did not compromise; I did not go with the flow, sacrificing precious time to chase after so-called "fame." I did not become like most people, taking the same courses, writing the same assignments, and seeking the same jobs. I still firmly strive in each choice to pursue the path I love as much as possible. I am who I am; I do not want any scholarships, nor do I aspire to be an outstanding graduate. I just want to learn what I want to learn.
I want to be myself, not a screw under a standard template.
After two years of work, looking back at my university life, I actually have no regrets. At least I audited or took many courses I truly wanted to take and did many things I genuinely wanted to do.