I have always wanted to go hiking and painting, but I have been hesitant to start. Climbing mountains turned out to be an opportunity for me to finally gather the courage to try sketching.
Observing the mountains from various angles is also a way of observing myself. Being in the challenging mountains and among people who have let go of social attributes rejuvenates me and confirms my own strength. It expands my exploration radius.
In moments like these, where I escape from various standards and labels, the troubles that used to linger in my mind seem to dissipate in the mountains and lakes.
01 Phoenix in the Rain, Surrounded by Mist and Clouds, the Spring Water Drips, as if in a Fairyland#
It's the first time I have encountered such mist on the mountain, as if in a fairyland. It suddenly reminded me of a line from Su Shi's "Red Cliff Ode": "Floating and drifting, as if detached from the world, transforming into a celestial being."
Although the climb was a bit challenging for me, I'm glad that I still found some beautiful scenery along the way: walking through the misty forest, seeing beautifully shaped leaves, listening to the sound of spring water, and stepping on thick yellow fallen leaves that felt soft and fluffy...
I have always wanted to go hiking and painting, to paint the places I have been. This mountain climb was an opportunity for me to gather the courage to try sketching. Although I am still in the stage of drawing from photos, I hope to observe and practice more in the future, and maybe one day I can draw while traveling with a portable sketchbook.
I have been painting landscapes this year, mostly copying ancient paintings, and I am still in the stage of learning basic techniques. I rarely create my own works. Today, I experienced the joy of creation - how to abstractly express something concrete, how to arrange the main and secondary elements, highlight certain areas, omit others, where to add details, where to leave them vague - it's a wonderful experience.
It feels like all the accumulation from before has been called upon, such as the scattered grass, which can be broken by opposing forces if there is a favorable momentum; the trees, solid up close and virtual in the distance, can be differentiated by the intensity of ink, the speed of brushstrokes, and the dryness or wetness of the brush; the contrast between the square and round shapes in the stones, some edges sharp and pointed, others needing a round and smooth stroke - not every stone needs to be solid, some can have cracks...
The beginning is always difficult. I used to fear sketching, thinking that my foundation was not solid enough and my skills were far from being able to create my own works. Today, I took an important step and realized that building a foundation and sketching can go hand in hand, they are not contradictory. Drawing from life may even help me better understand the theory.
Of course, learning from the present is not as good as learning from the past, and learning from the past is not as good as learning from nature. Mastering painting techniques is crucial, but for me, the most important thing is to observe and immerse myself in nature, to temporarily escape from the digital world, to open up all my senses, and to fully experience the wonders of nature.
02 Autumn Sea Mountain, Layers of Colors, Like a Spilled Palette#
Layers of colors, like a spilled palette, indeed the scenery changes with the seasons, and the joy is endless.
Although my sketching skills are still not proficient, I can vaguely recall some knowledge about landscape painting in my mind. Using the intensity of ink to distinguish between main and secondary elements, using brushstrokes to depict distance and solidity, using the size, density, and rhythm of dots to complement the overall composition...
Just like this passage from "As If There Is Light" by Qiujie Aqi:
The process of painting is to express emotions towards nature, the relationship between heaven, earth, and humans through one's own art... I want to express this sense of light, borrowing methods from traditional classics, but ultimately expressing my own inner self.
03 Changyu City, Endless Layers, Stacked on Top of Each Other#
This time, I am no longer struggling at the back of the group during the mountain climb. I finally have the energy to enjoy the scenery and have lunch. I have grown! I started in the front of the group for a short while, then took breaks at several places due to exhaustion, and eventually ended up in the middle of the group. Along the way, I also met some adorable new companions, such as the team leader who likes to say "Wow", the energetic photography leader, and the cool Yangyang who just hiked in Yunnan for a month (I really want to go on a long hike too)...
We even had lunch with the whole group at the mountaintop, sat on the ground to soak up the sun, and I finally succeeded in making instant noodles on the mountain (using hot water from a thermos flask).
04 Yinshan Pagoda Forest, Ancient Pagodas with Majestic Mountains as the Background#
Before the temperature dropped, I went hiking with the group to Yinshan Pagoda Forest. I saw the hazy layers of distant mountains, the red, orange, yellow, and green leaves, the ancient pagodas against the backdrop of majestic mountains, the patches of green in the dry branches, and the various shapes of large rocks...
05 Why I Love Hiking, Expanding the Exploration Radius, Confirming My Own Strength#
Perhaps I am more suited to be in the mountains and wilderness. Hiking is a way for me to recharge, it restores my energy. It's not just because of the dopamine released during exercise, or being closer to nature, or the people I meet along the way. It's more about seeing more possibilities, discovering my own potential, confirming my own strength, expanding my horizons, and increasing my ability to explore.
Observing the mountains from various angles is also a way of observing myself from different perspectives. Placing myself in a completely unfamiliar environment, in the challenging mountains, among a group of people who have let go of social attributes, allows me to relax and face things in a different way.
In these moments, I almost escape from various standards and labels, and I am no longer constantly being stared at or self-conscious. Instead, I am constantly being impacted by the unexpected road conditions and the new people I meet. This challenges the troubles that used to linger in my mind, and perhaps they dissipate in the mountains and lakes.
It reminds me to live in the present moment, to let go of grand narratives, and to focus on climbing one mountain after another that I want to climb.
It also makes me realize what my true state of relaxation is, and how many places I have suppressed my true self in the past, whether it's to conform to other people's standards and demands, to consider other people's feelings, or to meet other people's expectations. How much of my time, energy, and emotions have I sacrificed?
So, follow your heart, do what you truly love, spend time on people and things that are worth it, prioritize your own feelings and needs, and don't worry too much about other people's opinions or the mainstream evaluation system. Don't suppress your true self. Put your own feelings first in everything, ask yourself if you are comfortable and happy.
The journey of self-exploration is long and painful, it is a process of constant denial and struggle, but as Chieko Ueno said in "Yan Onna":
It is said that when Karl Marx was asked what people would be like in the future communist society, he replied, "I am a product of the polluted class society, and only those who have grown up in that society will know what people will be like in the future society." "I" is always a product of the transitional era, always in the middle. There is no need to deny the past self. It is because of the limitations, mistakes, and "awkwardness" of the past that I am who I am today. Forgive the past self, reconcile with that self, and embrace that self in my heart.
A long time ago, when I was young, I wrote: "Maturity is when the water level of accepting others' water lines in oneself rises." This idea hasn't changed until now, and it surprises me. However, compared to the past, I also have a more tangible feeling about the same sentence.
The "me" of the past has become the "other". The "me" of the future will also be the "other".
So, I will continue to struggle with my old self, and learn to accept myself, whether it's the new me or the old me.